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In the late 90s, Cornyn wanted to be Dear Abby.

Looking back on this now, we all see the hilarity in Cornyn’s attempt to give the people of Texas information in the form of a “Dear Abby” type of Q&A. However, it is even more hysterical because it’s obvious that he wrote them himself.

Last month, we covered another 1999 advice column he wrote telling parents how to tell if their kid is in a gang. That article included if the kid had a pager or was making bad grades. Also, hilarious.

The stupidest parents ever.

Cornyn’s advice columns, both this one and the one from last month featured questions from parents concerned about their kids.

I’m a parent and I have known plenty of other parents in my life. I find it hard to believe that there are parents out there that are so stupid they would say, “Gee, Honey. How will we ever know if little Timmy is in a gang? We should write the Attorney General of Texas and ask him for signs.”

Or in the case of this article, “Oh, Bob. Little Suzy wants to go to a rave party. We can’t decide as parents whether or not to let our baby go. We should ask the Attorney General of Texas what he thinks.”

Nope. Didn’t happen.

What was his obsession with gangs?

According to this article warning parents of rave parties, he says, “because rave crews are often associated with gangs.” I have come across so many articles in the 90s where Cornyn’s focus was gangs this or gangs that, primarily focused on teenagers.

Maybe it was just a sign of the times. However, 20 years later we live in a very different world and we now know that in the 1980s and 1990s law enforcement routinely targeted Black and brown youth. Teenagers would get busted with a dime bag and because of the color of their skin would often get much harsher sentences than those of their white counterparts. Systematic racism has been around for decades.

And it appears that in the 90s Cornyn’s hyper-focus on teen gangs was a contributing factor in Texas.

What will Cornyn do during his retirement?

Cornyn is 68 years old. When he loses his office to MJ Hegar, I for one, think he should become an advice columnist. He obviously has a passion for it.

To help him get warmed up, I emailed him a parenting question. You can email him, too, by following THIS LINK. The question I asked was, “How can I tell if my teen is addicted to Tide Pods?”

I’ll let y’all know if I hear anything back. 😂

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