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As the World Turns in the Harris County Republican Party

As the World Turns in the Harris County Republican Party

Tune in to see what your favorite hot-mess HCRPers are up to this week.

On last week’s episode of the Harris County Republican Party, Keith ‘Banana-Man’ Neilson un-resigned after resigning, Donnie H. professed his disdain for Dan Crenshaw, and a video caused chaos. Now that we’re all caught up, let’s see what our favorite HCRPers are up to this week. 

(Warning, they following social media posts contains real people and chairs in the Harris County Republican Party, some of this drama may be sensitive to young readers)

SD15 Chair, Rolondo Garcia, he’s mad and he’s naming names.

Garcia publicly stated on his Facebook page that he was trying to get past the appalling dishonor and pettiness he witnessed with the Harris County Republican Party Vacancy Committee, from people he thought he once knew and once respected. Oh, yes, it’s popcorn time! 🍿

But first, can’t you picture Garcia in your head with a sword in one hand shouting in a baritone voice, “You bring dishonor to the HCRP.” I love the way these guys talk, it’s so dramatic

Anyway, what it seemed happened is the HCRP vacancy committee met this last Saturday. There were 12 members in the committee, but only 9 showed up.

Josh Flynn, the outgoing secretary of the Republican Party of Texas, was one of the applicants to fill a vacant precinct chair. However, the majority voted against him. (Gasp! The scandal!)

Why would that cause all of this drama?

According to Donnie H’s latest angry rant, this whole thing was orchestrated by Charlotte Lampe and her crew. If you don’t remember Charlotte Lampe, from our last episode. She was the woman who had several SD7 Republicans conspire against her to stop her from being elected as committeewoman, and they pulled it off. 

Donnie H also asserts that vacancy committee member, Curtis McKinley was acting as a henchman for Lampe, and spread rumors that a precinct chair was bullied out of his position by Dave Riddle, the current SD7 chair. 

That isn’t the end of Donnie H’s delicious rant, he also accuses SD13 chair, Kristy Thackerson Bridges, of working to defeat Donald Trump, and Paul Simpson, the outgoing HCRP chair, of leaving the party on life support. He also says that over the last 6 years Paul Simpson and his liberal sycophants have destroyed the party. 

What’s their deal with Charlotte Lampe? It seems as if they really don’t like her. (This may be revealed in a future episode.)

SD7, SD15, and SD17.

We already established that SD7 was in bad shape in our last episode. But according to Donnie H’s fantastical airing of HCRP drama, it seems we ought to be keeping an eye on SD15 and SD17 for Real World style drama as well. 

Buffie (the vampire slayer) Ingersoll is challenging Rolondo Garcia. According to Donnie H, Ingersoll supported a Harris County District attorney, even after they prosecuted an anti-abortion activist. Wow. How deep the hate runs. 🙄

I looked for Buffie the vampire slayer’s social media accounts and came up with nothing. Odd. If a person doesn’t have a social media presence, do they even exist?

Then there is Bob Sumicek, who is the incoming SD17 chair. According to Donnie H, “People like Ingersoll and Sumicek are seeking these positions to undermine the leadership of the Harris County Republican Party and President Trump.”

Much of this boils down to Keith Neilson. 

As Rolondo Garcia put it, shrieking racist and bigot, hurts the HCRP. What he meant is that it should all be swept under the rug and kept quiet like the olden days. Because it’s not racist if we don’t talk about it. Of course this goes back to the age old saying, if a bear shits in the woods, and there isn’t anyone there to witness it, did he even shit at all?

The HCRP seems split into two camps, the first one being that Banana-Man is a racist that shared a racist Facebook post. The other camp is that Banana-Man is not a racist and didn’t mean anything racist by sharing a picture of a banana next to an MLK quote. 

And who is this Josh Flynn guy?

He used to serve on the HISD school board where he was eyeballs deep in corruption. In the recent Texas SREC convention fiasco, he apparently ran a few meetings that went bad. Which you know, a bad SREC meeting is much more of a reason to have him spit-roasted than corruption. 🙄

He also once thanked Jesus on YouTube for Dr. Pepper. As a fellow Texan, I’m actually not sure if that one was so bad. 

Or maybe it’s about Jared Woodfill. 

We also met Jared Woodfill in last week’s episode of “As the World Turns in the HCRP.” J-Wood is one of the guys involved in the anti-mask rallies and was investigated for theft and money laundering a few years back. According to Rolondo, people have J-Wood Derangement Syndrome. Josh Flynn was the HCRP treasurer under J-Wood. 

The comment section is lit. There are accusations that J-Wood and Josh Flynn may have also embezzled money while chair and secretary of the HCRP, but we’ll never know because they only did a financial record audit, instead of a forensic audit. There are also comparisons of Banana-Man to Jesus and 60-year old women using ‘clout’ in a sentence. Bobby the Snitch even made an appearance in these comments.

You may remember Bobby the Snitch as Robert Jeter III, from last week’s episode as the one who filed a police report on Charlotte Lampe, stating he threatened her with a gun. It seems like Bobby the Snitch doesn’t have a whole lot of friends either. Take a gander.

All of this pales in comparison to Rolondo’s first post. 

The comment section there was twice as lit. Litter? The litterest? 

Never trust a woman who wears knee-high vinyl boots in 100° weather.

What we are all witnessing, need I remind you, is the very public implosion of the Harris County Republican Party. And where the HCRP goes, Texas goes.

Will Donnie H’s strong-arming find a challenger? Will Banana-Man ever find love? Will it ever be revealed the smell everyone is complaining about came from Amy Hedtke’s boots? And will Kiki tell Ben he’s the baby daddy? Find out all of this and more on next week’s episode of As the World Turns in the Harris County Republican Party.

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