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John Cornyn’s 1999 Advice Column Warns Pagers Signal Gang Affiliation

Baggy clothes, too.

There is so much to disseminate here. First, for my younger readers. The picture you see above is a pager. Pagers used to be popular back in the 1990s, before cell phones were common. Cellphones are the new pagers. 😂

They work sort of like text messages, but the only thing you could send were numbers. When you wanted to get a hold of someone with a pager, you would call their pager number and enter in the number you wanted the person to call you back at. Then the pager holder, could go to the nearest phone and call you. (I’m not explaining pay phones today)

OK, now that we have that out of the way.

Did y’all know that when John Cornyn was the AG he did an advice column?

It is hilarious. This is just one I found. There are dozens. Most of them appear to be questions only a moron would ask and then Cornyn answers them thoughtfully. Like this one, I’m sure if Cornyn didn’t write this himself, he had someone on his staff write it.

This one struck a cord with me as particularly hilarious, because he wrote in in 1999, the same year I graduated. I remember what the 90s were like, I remember being a teenager in the 90s. This advice is so off base, but also speaks volumes about 90s culture. Most important, it shows how out of touch John Cornyn was in 1999

The first question.

“I am worried about my kid being involved in gangs. How can I tell and what can I do?”

What parent, (now or any day in age), says to themselves, “Gee, how will I ever stop little Timmy from joining a gang? Golly jeepers, I don’t know what to do. Oh, I know. I’ll write the Attorney General’s advice column. He’ll tell me what to look for.”

No parent does that. That’s just stupid.

So, he made up a question to ask himself because he had a topic he wanted to talk about. Is that so bad?

His answer made it worse.

“The best way to find out if your child is in a gang is by asking. Having a strong and open relationship with your child can be one of the best ways to prevent gang involvement.”

Can you see it, in your head? A 1999 version of Karen and her husband Brad call little Timmy to the dinner table for a “family talk.”

“Now, Little Timmy, your dad and I have been communicating with John Cornyn and he thought it was a good idea to ask you if your in a gang. So, are you?”

Poor Timmy, who ironically was a white middle class kid in the suburbs.

Some indicators.

According to Cornyn, some indicators your teenager might be in a gang include pagers. In 1999, pagers were phasing out as cellphones were phasing in. Just about as many teenagers back then had a pager as teenagers now have a cellphone.

Imagine Ken Paxton having an advice column in 2020, on Texas Score Card, or Breitbart, or whatever flavor of the month is for Conservatives. He then writes an advice column telling parents, if your teen has a cellphone, they might be in a gang. That’s the equivalent.

Other indicators include bandanas, truancy, poor school performance, unexplained income, or frequent contact with police.

While, perhaps certain color bandanas may be an indicator little Timmy has joined a gang, the rest is bull.

Truancy? There are dozens of reasons kids skip school, maybe hundreds, because their too busy gang banging is probably one of the least popular reasons.

Poor school performance? Maybe the kid has ADD, or the teacher sucks, or maybe they are just stupid.

Unexplained income? They might be dealing drugs, but that doesn’t mean they’re in a gang or dealing drugs for a gang.

Frequent contact with police? Perhaps it’s just the color of their skin or the city that they’re from.

Cornyn was out of touch 21 years ago

Just like he’s out of touch now.

VOTE! It’s time to help Old Man Cornyn on his path to retirement.

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